Friday, September 24, 2010

Thievery

No pics today because lately emma and i have been wearing kind of boring, repeat outfits. So i'm gonna tell you a story about my grandmother, the thief.
Grandma lived at a really nice nursing home in Co-op City in the Bronx after we moved her from Miami. My mom and i went to visit her once a month or so. We would do the same things: eat at the diner in Co-op City then take her to the store. It was like a small Walmart--they sold some clothing and lots of medicine. Catered to the old folks.
So, first to the diner where my grandmother would order a Western Omelet and then ask several times if we thought it was fattening. No grandma, none of that cheese or ham or fried egg is fattening. Dig in. She asked us that same question every single time we went there.
Next to the store, where we would buy her a new white polyester sweater every time. I have no idea where the other ones went. I think she had some kind of black market sweater thing going on in the nursing home.
One day, as we left the store, my grandmother proceeded to reach into her bra and take out a lipstick. I asked her why she kept it in her bra. She said she didn't, she had just "gotten" it in the store. What?!
Yep. She stole it. When I questioned her about the moral implications, she shrugged me off and said simply, "Who would suspect an old lady?"
I must've dropped my jaw in shock for then she said, "I'm sorry honey, I should've gotten you one, too."
Yup.

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